There are many theories about our what our dreams mean, how they are conjured, and how they can impact our psyche and therefore our day to day lives. There are also stories, fables, and legends surrounding the mystical and, in some cases, the very real manifestation of spirit animals. So what happens when a person dreams of their "spirit animal"?
Recently I've been contemplating the upcoming months in my life, and considering whether to stick to plan A at all costs or fall back on plan B and hope that plan A happens anyhow. Plan A is to stay where I am and put everything I can into writing, sending out query letters, contacting agents and publishers, and basically stop pursuing any other forms of a life. For you artists out there, you would say to me: "do that." And I understand where you are coming from. Pushing everything aside to go after your dream is the most terrifying and liberating thing a person can do, but that's what art is. And the only way to make it, is to do just that- fully envelop that life; surround yourself with it and become the artist you want to be. On the other hand, those of you who are more practical might suggest I land myself in plan B and fiddle with plan A on the side, while I have medical and dental and a secure life to hold me up. This is very logical, I must agree, nevertheless it doesn't seem all that clear to me. Neither side are clear at all. And thus, this brings me to the dichotomy that has been troubling my psyche which, as you have probably already guessed, brings me to the dream and revelation of my spirit animal. The dream begins with me walking through a forest. Everything is green and dense and I can smell the creation of air. I can hear the birds rustle and chirp in in their homes, while the wind sifts through the canopy, separating the leaves and branches just slightly enough for a bit of sunshine to peek through and illuminate the forest floor where my feet take one step after another. I hear running water, but see nothing. When I look to my right, there beside me is a white Arctic wolf. She is magnificent as she looks up at me, walking with me through the green. I look into her icy blue eyes and suddenly I am looking out from behind them at the body I call my own, only now I am also the wolf. She is me and I am her, and we are walking through the forest together. As I walk along with myself I am transferred back into my human body, and suddenly the rushing water that was faint before is close enough that I can smell it. I look to the wolf, and she gazes beyond me to a body of water flowing through the forest. It is as wide as a river, but as gentle as a stream. There is no river bed or harsh edge marking where the forest ends and the water begins; it is just there, as organic and a part of everything as the wolf and I are. I look to the wolf for guidance and her eyes tell me what to do. I walk over to the water and step in. It is deep and I stand with it's clear sheen up to my waste; it flows past me but I don't feel any pressure pulling me down or forward to join it. I look to the wolf and I become her again, looking back at me. My eyes encourage me to float. I have done the work to get there; I've taken the steps that led me from the warm and comforting forest into the river itself, and now all I have to do is let go and let the river do all the work. I leave the wolf and become myself again. I lay down and surround myself with the water, but I don't move with it yet, it still flows past me. I glance to the wolf standing in the forest, watching me still, and she turns her head to look where the water goes. My eyes follow the her gaze and there I see that the river is flowing, just flowing forward. There is nothing to stop it, and there is nothing to pull me out, it is then when I begin surrender to the current. Intermittently, I am floating as myself, and then I am the wolf watching. This goes on for a time until I notice there are others along the side of this river, people I know. They don't smile or even acknowledge me, they don't do anything but stand there as I continue to float as my self, or walk past them as the wolf. They are simply, there. The dream continues in this way and I feel sure and confident with each passing moment. Switching back and forth from my human body to the wolf's form is empowering and comforting. I realize when I wake that all I had to do was get in the water and float downstream. If anything goes wrong, I am there to help myself to shore, and so are the others if I need them. With a feeling of assuredness and complete self awareness I wake up, and the dreams ceases to exist. My mother has always said that when we swim upstream, we are going against the current that leads us through our life and that in order to be full and happy and to always move forward all we have to do is swim downstream. Is this what I am trying to reinforce within myself? Is this what my "spirit animal" has asked me to consider? Plan A or plan B, it makes no difference. Find out what you want, work hard and do everything you can to make it come true, then jump in the water and let the current do the work for you. Thanks Mom.
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"Work and hope, but never hope more than you work."
- Charles Clutterbuck What does an artist do when they must dive into themselves to find inspiration for a dark character in a story? And how can they make sure they don't get lost along the way? Perhaps that is the pain and pleasure of being an artist- we need to go to those places everyone else shuts out, and we need to work through it and walk along the deserts in our minds, in order to really understand what we are creating. Maybe this too, is the only way to connect to others because they are feeling what we are able to express, whereas they are not.
“As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go.”
- Marilyn Monroe "Let the universe know what you want, work towards it and, and then let go of how it comes to pass” - Jim Carrey
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